Searching with all my heart

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

We meditated on the above verses from Jeremiah 29 this morning during small group, and verse 13 struck me in a way it had never done before.

Searching with all your heart isn’t in relation to how much effort you put into it, but rather, whether it is the complete and sole desire of your heart.

All the while I’ve been asking God how I can honor him through the various decisions I’ve had to make, and I realize that it wasn’t my main purpose to honor him but rather, a line off the “check list” by which I decide whether something was permissible or not.

In essence, I wouldn’t do something if it dishonored him, but it was a criteria in the same category as other practical criteria-s like the availability of time or the positivity of the act.

It didn’t stem from a complete, whole, and rooted desire to honor him.

I’ve been sucked into the whirlpool of university struggles no doubt. But even as I’m spending a Sunday evening in the school library trying to rush my readings, the struggle to define what can be compromised on and what cannot, still lingers at the back of my head.

I used to hold the belief that certain principles like not engaging in pre marital sex, not getting drunk or not using vulgarities were completely normal. But as I started mixing with people from various walks of life, I realize that these principles seemed more of an anomaly.

I realized that principles that only serve as a criteria on a checklist are easily compromised or neglected in the heat of the moment, but value systems that form the grounding of which everything else you do is stemmed from will never be compromised.

with all my heart, with all my heart.

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