Feeling pretty disappointed and disheartened right now, but I’m thankful it doesn’t feel like the end of the world just yet because I’ve come to appreciate the endless list of things that hold a greater value than grades.

Got back the mid term test result for one of my law mods and dammit, it hit me like a wall of bricks. I guess I never dared to expect too much but I was still hopeful in a sense.

But I’m going to let all of these seep in and motivate me to work even harder. There are times these semester that I’ve been doubting myself a lot. I question if I was really meant for law school, if I should have pursued this simply on the grounds that I couldn’t see myself doing anything else. I ask myself if I should have applied for the UK, and I question myself why I didn’t apply through discretionary admission to NUS.

But then I remember what I told myself before entering into law school. I will make the most out of what I have, and use everything I have against everything I haven’t – Not forgetting to love the people around me in the midst of doing so.

Readings just never end and project meetings eat into my weekends ( this weekend is the third or fourth one already). I couldn’t spare a weekend for YMLC or a dive trip that I really wanted to go for.

I struggle to commit to ballet because school just takes up so much time and I really want to join a CCA but I can’t balance church + school + ballet at the moment.

But then, I remember that it was my choice and it was what I really wanted. And I have this annoyingly stubborn trait of sticking to what I’ve chosen to take up, which led to the huge over commitment to CCAs in IB for which I paid with my grades eventually (no regrets, though).

So yes, I shall use this annoyingly stubborn trait in a positive way this time, and stick to what I’ve chosen. I will graduate with a decent GPA which will allow me to practice, so that I won’t end up simply as a para legal who can’t appear in court even after suffering for four years in law school.

Dammit mag, its just one silly mid term.

For all those who gave me hugs, offered to get me chocolates, gave me a call after getting my sad whatsapp, offered words of encouragement after checking on me, thank you (:

On a side ( happier ) note, I’m going to get new running shoes tomorrow. whoooooshhhhh.

and I need to stop allowing my heart to go on a happy tour. come back, heart. stop allowing yourself to get messed with ughhhhhhhh. why didn’t God make hearts with a brain so that they can rationalize things.


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